"Dirty" Joke Of The Day

Special treat for you, you get two jokes today since I haven't done this in a long time. Enjoy

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?" "That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this...when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your finger?"

Two dwarfs decide to treat themselves to a vacation in Las Vegas. At the hotel bar, they're dazzled by two women, and wind up taking them to their separate rooms.The first dwarf is disappointed, however, as he's unable to reach a certain physical state that would enable him to join with his date. His depression is enhanced by the fact that, from the next room, he hears cries of ONE, TWO, THREE...HUH! all night long. In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, How did it go? The first whispers back: It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get an erection. The second dwarf shook his head. You think that's embarrassing? I couldn't even get on the bed!

"Dirty" Joke Of The Day

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink. They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female "lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look", she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."

Raunchy Condom Commercial/Condomned Part 1

Is it more, or are these commercials getting more and more raunchy. Promoting safe sex is a good thing and I applaud that, but damn. Every single person in that advertisement commercial is getting it on like two wild rabbits. Something like that commercial for kids to see, equals problems in the future but do advertisement companies care? Haha.

Anyway, let`s get to this video here ironically about condoms. Take a look and hope you enjoy.

This cartoon is courtesy of the good people at collegehumor.com

Dirty Minds Part II

These artist have way too much time on their hands. They need to get a girlfriend or a sex doll or something. How the hell do they come up with these different ways to draw these things? How did you do? Did you pass or fail the Dirty Minds test II?

Twitter Is Stupid ... To Me

Unknowingly to me, a new phenomenon has been born in the social networking world that is only known as Twitter. Twitter derives from the word twit, which means foolish or annoying person, and based on what I heard about this site, the name fits perfectly. Do people honestly have nothing better to do than to twit each other messages on what they are doing at that exact moment.


E-D-ot: woke up and I'm washing my face 8:35am
E-D-ot: finished washing my face, now brushing my teeth 8:39am
E-D-ot: brushed my teeth too hard and now my gums hurt :( 8:47am
E-D-ot: my stomach hurts so much 9:41am
E-D-ot: going to the toilet for a while, be back soon 9:42am

That's basically what it is and I cannot overstand that shit. Who gives a damn about your life like that. Definitely not me. If you HAVE a life, then you wouldn't WASTE your life doing this shit. I'm just saying.

"Dirty" Joke Of The Day

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your Grandma."

History Of The Word F*ck

This is f'n epic. If you don't agree with this or like this then you know what you can do. Straight up and down.

"Dirty" Joke Of The Day

There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it.

Doctor: What was the problem?
Elderly man: Well, I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing.
Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.

Family Guy Deleted Scene

Vulgar, rude, obnoxious and full of attitude are words best to describe me. You can also use those words to describe this show because Family Guy is f'n awesome. The jokes are beyond hilarious, the dialogue flows like water, it's just great television. Dammit, this is the second post where I'm complimenting as opposed to belittling whatever I put up. Oh well, Family Guy gets a pass because it's that damn good. I don't know why those stuck up suits at the Network (FOX) didn't allow this to air. This would have made that episode much better than that awkward segway from those scenes that made the final cut.

"Dirty" Joke Of The Day

A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely" to them. To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. The first student raised his hand and said "The sky is definitely blue". The teacher said, "Well, that isn't entirely correct, because sometimes it's gray and cloudy". Another student says, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher again replies "If grass doesn't get enough water it turns brown, so that isn't really correct either." Another student raises his hand and asks the teacher "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher looked at him and said "No...But that isn't really a question you want to ask in class discussion." So the student replies, "Then I definitely shit my pants."