"Dirty" Joke Of The Day

Special treat for you, you get two jokes today since I haven't done this in a long time. Enjoy

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?" "That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this...when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your finger?"

Two dwarfs decide to treat themselves to a vacation in Las Vegas. At the hotel bar, they're dazzled by two women, and wind up taking them to their separate rooms.The first dwarf is disappointed, however, as he's unable to reach a certain physical state that would enable him to join with his date. His depression is enhanced by the fact that, from the next room, he hears cries of ONE, TWO, THREE...HUH! all night long. In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, How did it go? The first whispers back: It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get an erection. The second dwarf shook his head. You think that's embarrassing? I couldn't even get on the bed!

Raunchy Condom Commercial/Condomned Part 1

Is it more, or are these commercials getting more and more raunchy. Promoting safe sex is a good thing and I applaud that, but damn. Every single person in that advertisement commercial is getting it on like two wild rabbits. Something like that commercial for kids to see, equals problems in the future but do advertisement companies care? Haha.

Anyway, let`s get to this video here ironically about condoms. Take a look and hope you enjoy.

This cartoon is courtesy of the good people at collegehumor.com

"Dirty" Joke Of The Day

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your Grandma."

History Of The Word F*ck

This is f'n epic. If you don't agree with this or like this then you know what you can do. Straight up and down.

"Dirty" Joke Of The Day

There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it.

Doctor: What was the problem?
Elderly man: Well, I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing.
Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.

Family Guy Deleted Scene

Vulgar, rude, obnoxious and full of attitude are words best to describe me. You can also use those words to describe this show because Family Guy is f'n awesome. The jokes are beyond hilarious, the dialogue flows like water, it's just great television. Dammit, this is the second post where I'm complimenting as opposed to belittling whatever I put up. Oh well, Family Guy gets a pass because it's that damn good. I don't know why those stuck up suits at the Network (FOX) didn't allow this to air. This would have made that episode much better than that awkward segway from those scenes that made the final cut.

"Dirty" Joke Of The Day

A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely" to them. To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. The first student raised his hand and said "The sky is definitely blue". The teacher said, "Well, that isn't entirely correct, because sometimes it's gray and cloudy". Another student says, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher again replies "If grass doesn't get enough water it turns brown, so that isn't really correct either." Another student raises his hand and asks the teacher "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher looked at him and said "No...But that isn't really a question you want to ask in class discussion." So the student replies, "Then I definitely shit my pants."

Freaks .. or Cool Animation?

It annoys me so much when I post something and have nothing bad to say regarding it. That must mean that I actually find it interesting, and I find only a couple things interesting in this screwed up life of mine. Money, punani, doing #2, writing, video games and drawing/animation. Look at this video. Obviously it's not real, but this has some interesting and cool animation. They could have done better but whatever, I'll leave them alone. I pray the next story I post is something I can make fun of. Being nice is a bitch.

Scarlet Takes A Tumble

By now most people probably have seen this already on the internet. This thing spread like wildfire, just like that 2 Girls and a Cup crap. No pun intended. So what's the point in me putting this up? Obviously to give my damn opinion on it. As those white girls say ..Duh! This Humpty Dumpty looking chick, gets up on the table and "tries" to dance or whatever she was trying to do and fell on her fat ass. I honestly felt sorry for the floor when she fell, because that floor had to take on all that weight. I mean she so fat, she could break her family tree. She so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 100 pounds. She so fat, her graduation picture was an aerial photo. I could go on but I'm going to stop because I can't waste any more time on Humpty Dumpty. Had a great fall indeed.

Dirty Minds Part I

Don't lie guys. You know what you thought that first drawing was. Punani. Pie. Coochie. The fish. Pum pum. The Bush. Flower. Kitty. Ill Na-Na. Whatever nickname you want to label it as, I could go on forever ... honestly. It did look like it was a woman pum pum to me for real. (Ahh takes me back to the drawings I used to draw when I was 13 years old and didn't know nothing. Such a stupid child I was.) I really wonder if this guy can draw anything that is NOT sexually explicit-looking that turns out to be something else? Woman with legs open turn into a bird dropping a worm. Woman getting back shots turns out to be man on a horse. You coming on this site expecting a gossip page and being proven to be really stupid. See it all works.

Single Ladies (Asians remix)

Me find this sooooo funny. Almost better than the original song. Ahh .. Asian girls.
I'm really not going to rude comment on this like how come two of them can speak English and the other two you need sub-titles. Or how come when they sing, their lips do not match up to the words they are saying. Or how the one of the left looks like she was handicapped throughout the whole thing with her "dancing". Here are some of my favorite lines in this remix.

"If you like it then you shoulda got an A on it
If you like it then you shoulda got an A on it
An A- aint the same as an A is it
If you like it then you shoulda got an A on it"

"At the restaurant I’ll taste your sauce
And you can slurp my sushi.
I like it raw, So bring it on,
And me love you long time."

Hand Vagina

"These little boys are curious and I know why, it's the power of that P-U-S-S-Y"

This toned down Vagina Monologue, at best, went from mildly funny, to funny, to nasty, to funny, to delivering a thoughtful message at the end. Awww. Ain't that nice? But it's good to see three boys so curious about what a vagina looks like. Less Clay Aikens and more everything else is better for .. well .. everyone. How did producers get these little rascals to do this anyway? I wonder if they're dumb enough to believe if that's how a baby is born too? Oh well, I feel like playing kick ball now.

This video is brought to you by the good people at collegehumor.com

The Cleveland Show Teaser

This is good for me, especially. This has been long overdue and finally it will be coming out. One of the best/funniest characters in the Family Guy show. If you're not down with Family Guy or think it's funny then what the hell crap do you watch on television? Desperate Housewives? Scrubs? F outta here. The Cleveland Show baby. Coming soon.